Draaaaamaa

Funny thing, drama. I have had too much of it lately. The best part, none of it is mine! I have just been internalizing the drama of all my dear friends. It makes me laugh now. Sunday was not good. I was really overwhelmed and heavy with concern and love that my friends would make wise choices. Then my good friend got her heart broken and I was braced for major drama there, but surprisingly, it's not been bad at all, I'm very proud of her. I have been praying a lot and exercising every day to let out the stress I've been holding in. On Monday I came home from my run all jazzed up and even said I was ready for more drama. Heavenly Father in his infinite sense of humor saw to that. My best friend had a lot of serious family drama on Tuesday. It was really scary and is still really sensitive, but I'm surprisingly handling it well. Jared helped me with the advice I need. There is nothing I can do but pray, advise, and love. I can't make decisions for them. It's their life. That has been the key the last few days in dealing with it so I'm not hindered by it. It's been a good experience. Today I learned how much I do need to know this skill as the potential for me to become an Admissions/Financial Aid Counselor is becoming more of a possibility. In order to do that though, I need to hone in on this skill. So, the Lord is blessing me with lots of experiences. Today I was talking to a friend and asked how his week was and he told me it was dramatic. I laughed bc I can relate. Then he started telling me how dramatic it was. That's fine, but he said three times in the conversation, "I don't know why I'm telling you all this." It made me laugh. I guess I am a magnet for drama right now. I am taking it as a learning opportunity. :D What'll happen next....

Much needed update

It's been way too long since I've written in. I figure it's time to remedy that. I don't know where to start, so I'll start with a quick recap and then get to the present. I was able to go home for Christmas. It was really nice to be home. Geoff brought his fiancé, Emily, and it was nice meeting her. She's a cute girl. I like her. When I got back, work was insanely busy and stressful because we had so many issues with the Financial Aid system. All the stress caught me off guard and I have had a lot of anxiety the past month, not able to handle with the normal stresses of life. I went to the doctor about it and she put me on Zoloft, which is an anti-depressant, ironically. We'll see how it goes. It's supposed to take 2 weeks to get into my system. So far the side effects include 1) loss of appetite (yeah! Help in my quest to lose weight--which btw, I have lost 20 pounds since last May when I started the journey! YEAH!); 2) dry mouth, which makes me drink more water, which makes me go to the bathroom more, resulting in more breaks at work, helping me to focus better! 3) sleepiness (at least I think it is a symptom, if not, I am tired anyway)--I have been going to bed at 9 and 10 every night this week. I must say, it's not entirely that bad. It's getting me on a better sleeping schedule then I've ever been on. All in all, I've felt less stressed. It could be a combination of a lot of things: exercising, eating right, sleeping better, I started listening to relaxation CD's before bed, etc.

Yesterday was an awesome day at church. I was fasting about what I need to do to get married as it has been a hard lately. Well, Relief Society was absolutely amazing! Amber (the RS Pres.) talked about the very topic of being single and having trials. She talked about the Brother of Jared and how he was commanded to build barges. She posed the question, why did the Lord have them build barges with no openings that get tossed around the ocean and not a ship like Nephi? Her point was that the Lord took away their control so they could rely fully on the Lord to take them where He is leading them. It was really powerful for me. I don't know where the Lord is leading me or when I'm going to marry or to who, but I know He is aware of me. Amber's parents spoke to us as well. Her mom said something to help me see a positive aspect of being single. She mentioned that since Amber is single, it gives her mom more time to be with Amber. I realized that I go to my parents a lot when I am having issues. Who knows how often that will happen when I get married and actually DO have someone else to turn to. I'm glad I can be so close to them. Amber's dad also spoke to us. He is a patriarch. He talked about how we are all choice daughters of Zion, which is something my patriarchal blessing said. It was a nice tender mercy to realize the Lord's love for me and awareness of my situation. Everyone in the room needed to hear it. Everyone was sniffling because of tears. It was kind of funny, but really amazing that we all needed it so much.

It's my birthday today, and I've been celebrating all weekend. Friday night I went to Turcanos with Josh . His birthday is on Feb 10th, so we celebrated together. On Saturday I went to lunch with Erin, Jenny, and Ved. Yesterday I had a party with cake and ice cream for my friends and ward members. A lot of people came. It was nice. Dave was a friend from Alta who I haven't really talked to much before. He's friends with Erin, Jenny, Sarah, etc. but I haven't had many conversations with him. He came last night to my party and it was fun getting to know him a little. Turns out we have a lot in common. I wanted to see a movie today for my birthday (Aunt Teresa gave me a gift certificate for Christmas a year ago and I wanted to use it), so I asked if Sarah and Dave wanted to go. Sarah didn't, but Dave wanted to. So, we went to see "The Blind Side" today. It is a REALLY good movie! I totally cried. Dave was cute about it. He kept asking if I was okay. He doesn't have much of a bubble either, I have noticed. When he would talk to me, he would speak pretty closely. It was kind of cute. I don't know if he's nice or if he has interest, but I hope he has interest. I sure do. When we were leaving the theater, he followed me to my side (I was driving) and after I unlocked the door, he opened it for me! Huge points! We'll see if he calls me to do something, but I've learned to not hold my breath, only hope. Tonight we’re going ice skating for FHE. I’m looking forward to that. It will be fun. :)

Giving Thanks

In church the talks were about gratitude, which is what I needed to hear, honestly. One of the girls talked about how she didn’t have a car when she came to college and she needed to ask for rides everywhere, etc. (I totally know how that is!) Her parents found a car for her for $200 and it was a junker (windshield wipers never stopped going, rain or shine, doors sometimes wouldn’t open, can’t lock it or you couldn’t unlock it, etc). She was really grateful for it, though, because she didn’t have anything before. Well, that’s how I got my car (only $100, never had one, etc). I was so grateful for it and then this year I put about $1,700 into it to keep it up. It’s been so frustrating because I just want to buy a new car! However, I realized today that I should really be grateful that I DO have such a good car, as old as it is, but it runs really well. I just got new tires and it’s all ready to go home for Christmas, weather pending. I’m so grateful that I have a car that I can go home for Christmas now! I don’t have to depend on whether or not someone else is going, as I am having a hard time finding someone to go with as it is. I’m grateful that I have a job that I can afford all these car fees. I am grateful for the friends I have that love me no matter what. I’m grateful that I have been blessed with such a happy personality that it takes a lot to get me down. I’m grateful that I have such a big heart and love for others and the ability to help others feel the Lord’s love through my love. I’m grateful that I am not high maintenance (I don’t need to constantly go on vacations to find fulfillment in life, I get that just by relaxing, watching a movie, reading a book, being with people, babysitting, etc).

I love that I can babysit for Julie, my coworker, as I know it helps her and Matt be able to go to the temple, but it also fulfills my baby need. Maddie is soo adorable!! She’s crawling now! So cute!! I am just so blessed.

New Pics!

My cousin, Alicia, did my hair a week ago and it’s adorable! She put red in it and it’s cute! Erica and I went up the canyon to take pictures and I must say, I look hot! ;)

Busy...again...

Yesterday was such an interesting day. I got up and went babysitting for Becky. I was so tired because I only had 5 hours of sleep (went to bed at 4 AM!). Babysitting was good (kids are so adorable!). When I got home I had about a hour to get some laundry done and clean the house (the kitchen was nasty and was driving me nuts!). Jenny came to pick Erin and I up for the football game. Let me just say....it was one of the worst games for us. Ugh! We played Florida State University and they creamed us! 54-28 :( It was such an upsetting game! We were in the sun for the first half and it totally zapped the remaining energy. I would have been better if it wasn't for the lack of adrenaline a good game would have provided. In addition to all of this, I sent a few texts to Kevin yesterday. He responded to the first few, but not the last few. All of these forces combined totally put me in a slump. I was so out of it. I wanted to go home and sleep, but I had to wait for traffic to thin out and for Jenny to be ready to take me home. I slept briefly on their couch and then just laid there so out of it. I felt really hopeless about Kevin too, silly, I know, as we've only been friends for about a week. I think it was all magnified by the fact that I was tired and moody.

This morning was much better! Church was amazing! I love it when all the meetings share themes! It was awesome. I really felt the spirit. The rest of the day was busy. I was home taught, visit taught one of my girls, went on a really nice walk with a girl in the ward, ward choir, took a brief nap, and went to ward prayer. It was a really nice day.