Custom-made trials

The Lord has given us all specific and individualized trials for specific times in our lives. My roommates cousin has been going through something that no one volunteers for and she has been such a strength through it all. Her daughter, Maddie was in an accident and she has been in recovery. I have been following on their blog (which is not normal behavior for me), but for some reason, every time I read her blog, it touches my heart and gives me strength to endure my trials. I love the perspective of Beverly and John. Their eternal perspective and optimism really helps.

I have also learned through life that the Lord places people in our lives who have gone through certain trials to help us in ours. My roommate has been going through some hard times the last few months and it's been amazing how much what she has been going through mirrors what I have been going through. They are different, that's for sure, but there are moments when we both need the same prayers because they are that similar. I am grateful for the small tender mercies that the Lord sends my way all the time. Yesterday, for example, I was having a hard time at work with non-work-related issues and went for a quick walk to clear my head. When I got back to my desk my visiting teacher had stopped by and brought me a flower. I nearly burst out in tears because I knew it had come directly from the Lord's promptings. He knew I needed that little reassurance that He is there and knows what I'm feeling. It is amazing how many blessings come my way when I am doing what I know I need to live a righteous life. It is not easy sometimes, but the pleadings of my heart have been answered so many times as I have been praying, reading the Book of Mormon, attending the temple, and being around others who strengthen me. The Lord truly does keep His promises.

"And now, my brethren (and sisters), I would that ye should do as ye have hitherto done. As ye have kept my commandments, and also the commandments of my father, and have prospered, and have been kept from falling into the hands of your enemies, even so if ye shall keep the commandments of my son, or the commandments of God which shall be delivered unto you by him, ye shall prosper in the land, and your enemies shall have no power over you." ~ Mosiah 2:31

Give me a Break

I find it very interesting how the Lord gives us "breaks" sometimes, but they are not permanent. The last few weeks have been really happy for me. I have felt the Lord's love very strongly and I have been really content with my life. I started taking an art class and will take a painting class that will start in a month. I am really enjoying drawing! Who would have thought it would be so therapeutic? The last few days, my thoughts have been consumed with my friends and loved ones who are struggling. Many prayers have been offered up to Heaven in their behalf. I started realizing that my "break" is about to be over. The Lord has given me a lot of strength and I feel the application of that strength being called into play. I am actually grateful for my trials. I know they are hard, but I know that I grow the most in those trials. I grow closer to the Lord, I see what I am really made of, and through my trials, I am usually able to help others. It's amazing how orchestrated it all is.

Even there are so many unknowns in my life right now, there is one thing that I know for sure. The Lord is aware of me. He has a lot in store for me and is preparing the way for me to receive these blessings. I have been struggling with the wording in this posting because I am not very eloquent with words, but I felt like I needed to get this out there.

The Lord loves and is VERY aware of all of His children

I have been in awe the last two weeks about how much the Lord loves His children and how much he is involved in our lives. Last week was a really hard week as I was healing from a hurt heart. The Lord blessed me with a quick "recovery" (or so I thought) on Sunday. I realize now that it was just a Band-Aid because the Lord needed me to be emotionally available for some of my dear friends who were going through really difficult times. Once they were more okay, the Lord took off the Band-Aid and is now letting me heal again.

Last night I was directed to listen to a talk that Elder Neal A. Maxwell gave in 1974, "But For A Small Moment". It was exactly what I needed to hear. He talked about the atonement of our Savior and how He, being a supreme being, was so overwhelmed by the trial He was going through that He said, "if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." At times we want to pray to have our trials taken away from us, but if we do that, we will be missing out on blessings and growth that we will need. In fact, we may be taking a step back if we do not allow the Lord to give us opportunities we need. So, the take home message to that thought: Keep going!

Elder Maxwell also said that, "the cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day also be the receptacle of joy, how infinitely greater Jesus’ capacity for joy, when he said, after his resurrection, 'Behold, my joy is full.' How very, very full, indeed, his joy must have been!" The take home message to this thought: Keep going! You will be happy!

My final thoughts. Today the Lord blessed me with direct answers to my prayers. Twice. Both of which were answered through other people. Take home message for today and the past two weeks: The Lord is very aware of all his children. He loves us all! He is constantly putting people in our path to help us get through our struggles. He put me in the path of my friends so I could be an instrument in His hands. He put others in my path when I needed them. He knows.

Faith, Prayers, and Direction

For the last few weeks, I have felt strong direction to move to Seattle. It's been interesting because I don't like moving. At all. The Lord has been blessing me with added inspiration and direction, so that has been a huge blessing. I just went visiting teaching and found out that one of my sisters is going through a similar experience. The lesson this month was anything from the Ensign, topics being temples. The only thing that kept coming to mind was the same scripture that stood out to me when I was preparing. D&C 88:119: "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God."

One of the reasons why I have felt so much direction lately is because I have made a conscientious effort to make sure my scripture study is rich, just as Elder Eyring said (see previous entry, "Mormon.org"). I shared with her my experience and even recommitted myself to keep it up because I still need to have that direction.

I have also had a reaffirmation in faith in prayers lately. This is really simple, but it is so profound to me. A few weeks ago, I volunteered to sing a musical number in our division staff meeting at work. Starting last Saturday, I woke up every morning with a hoarse voice because of allergies. My roommates and I pray (nearly) every night and we ask what each other needs so that we can have specific prayers. I told Shannon that I wanted to be able to keep my commitment. She in her faith said, "You will." She prayed a very specific prayer that my voice would be better and that I would be able to hit all the notes. Because of her sure faith, I too knew that I would be able to sing. The next morning I woke up and my voice was perfectly fine. First time in days. I sang all the notes well. It was an amazing miracle. I have thought a lot about it in the last few days because it was a testament to me that the Lord will answer our prayers if we are specific. He loves us and wants us to be happy.

Blog Make-over

Since Saturday I have given this blog business a lot of thought. I have friends who use their blogs to vent frustrations, spew random thoughts they are having, or giving updates on their life and family. I used my blog kind of as a journaling technique and to give updates on my life to close friends (hence the closed blog). When I created my profile on Mormon.org on Saturday, I decided that I want to go in a different direction with these blog posts. I don't post very often as it is, so I will probably continue with that trend, but I decided that I want them to be more rich. I want my blog to be more of a spiritual resource and a way to share my feelings about the gospel and the blessings I have as a result of it; to share experiences I am having in life and what I am learning from them so they can possibly help others who may be going through the same thing. I don't read anyone else's blogs much (sorry friends!), but I know others do, so maybe what I have to say will be beneficial to someone someday. Therefore, I am braving the world of open-bloggedness (not a word, I get that, but it works...). Brace yourselves....