The Hand of the Lord

The last few months have been very interesting for me. I really wanted to move to Seattle, but the Lord told me multiple times that it is not right for me now. So, I looked forward to a job opening at work and then things were moved around and it appeared that the counseling position I was looking for (and really wanted since I started working there) was filled. The Lord really humbled me the week I found all this out and I realized that He has a greater plan than I do and apparently everything I have been planning is not in His plan. Then, a few days after I came to this realization, there were two counselor positions opened. I didn't know if the Lord wanted to humble me to teach me to trust Him more, but the counselor position is still in His plan, or if the Lord was preparing me to not get the job.

In addition, my car is really old and I was planning on getting a car with the increase in pay if I were to get the counselor job. Well, last week, I went to get a trip-check on my car before going up to Idaho and he found that my timing belt was next to dead and the distributor should be replaced. He said he thought just the coil could be replaced just fine (only $75) instead of the whole thing ($300). So, I had him just do the coil. In the process of getting all these fixed on my car, I realized it was worth it to put money in my car because I could sell it now for probably $2000 still with its mileage, etc. I decided I didn't need to get a car if I were to get the job. On the same hand, I also realized it could very well be the Lord's way of preparing me to not get this job because I won't need it to get a car.

Well, I was right. I didn't get the job. It was amazing how the Lord prepared me though. I am so grateful for that. I am grateful for the small tender mercies.

It's not over. I went to Idaho to pick up my mom from visiting my grandparents and 20 miles from home my car completely died again. It was funny because I was just thinking that I wish my mom could meet Maddie and Benjamin (my pseudo niece and nephew). Well, I think the Lord has a sense of humor. My car died two exits from their house. I am so blessed with good friends. They had an extra car they didn't need and were able to loan it to me until my car was fixed. Oh, the rest of the distributor died, so I should have paid the $300 initially. Oh well.

In the process of all of this, I was talking to a friend and he was talking about his graduate program. I have not had a desire to get my graduate degree at this point, but for some reason, the desire is slowly beginning to grow. I have thought about what I wanted to do my senior year in college and am looking into these programs. The Lord has confirmed that these thoughts and desires are directed from Him and so I am going for it. We'll see where it leads me. I am grateful for His hand in my life and the way He just makes it all work out. Even though I don't know where He is leading me exactly, He always comes through and I see where He is sending me eventually.

Custom-made trials

The Lord has given us all specific and individualized trials for specific times in our lives. My roommates cousin has been going through something that no one volunteers for and she has been such a strength through it all. Her daughter, Maddie was in an accident and she has been in recovery. I have been following on their blog (which is not normal behavior for me), but for some reason, every time I read her blog, it touches my heart and gives me strength to endure my trials. I love the perspective of Beverly and John. Their eternal perspective and optimism really helps.

I have also learned through life that the Lord places people in our lives who have gone through certain trials to help us in ours. My roommate has been going through some hard times the last few months and it's been amazing how much what she has been going through mirrors what I have been going through. They are different, that's for sure, but there are moments when we both need the same prayers because they are that similar. I am grateful for the small tender mercies that the Lord sends my way all the time. Yesterday, for example, I was having a hard time at work with non-work-related issues and went for a quick walk to clear my head. When I got back to my desk my visiting teacher had stopped by and brought me a flower. I nearly burst out in tears because I knew it had come directly from the Lord's promptings. He knew I needed that little reassurance that He is there and knows what I'm feeling. It is amazing how many blessings come my way when I am doing what I know I need to live a righteous life. It is not easy sometimes, but the pleadings of my heart have been answered so many times as I have been praying, reading the Book of Mormon, attending the temple, and being around others who strengthen me. The Lord truly does keep His promises.

"And now, my brethren (and sisters), I would that ye should do as ye have hitherto done. As ye have kept my commandments, and also the commandments of my father, and have prospered, and have been kept from falling into the hands of your enemies, even so if ye shall keep the commandments of my son, or the commandments of God which shall be delivered unto you by him, ye shall prosper in the land, and your enemies shall have no power over you." ~ Mosiah 2:31

Give me a Break

I find it very interesting how the Lord gives us "breaks" sometimes, but they are not permanent. The last few weeks have been really happy for me. I have felt the Lord's love very strongly and I have been really content with my life. I started taking an art class and will take a painting class that will start in a month. I am really enjoying drawing! Who would have thought it would be so therapeutic? The last few days, my thoughts have been consumed with my friends and loved ones who are struggling. Many prayers have been offered up to Heaven in their behalf. I started realizing that my "break" is about to be over. The Lord has given me a lot of strength and I feel the application of that strength being called into play. I am actually grateful for my trials. I know they are hard, but I know that I grow the most in those trials. I grow closer to the Lord, I see what I am really made of, and through my trials, I am usually able to help others. It's amazing how orchestrated it all is.

Even there are so many unknowns in my life right now, there is one thing that I know for sure. The Lord is aware of me. He has a lot in store for me and is preparing the way for me to receive these blessings. I have been struggling with the wording in this posting because I am not very eloquent with words, but I felt like I needed to get this out there.