I have been in awe the last two weeks about how much the Lord loves His children and how much he is involved in our lives. Last week was a really hard week as I was healing from a hurt heart. The Lord blessed me with a quick "recovery" (or so I thought) on Sunday. I realize now that it was just a Band-Aid because the Lord needed me to be emotionally available for some of my dear friends who were going through really difficult times. Once they were more okay, the Lord took off the Band-Aid and is now letting me heal again.
Last night I was directed to listen to a talk that Elder Neal A. Maxwell gave in 1974, "But For A Small Moment". It was exactly what I needed to hear. He talked about the atonement of our Savior and how He, being a supreme being, was so overwhelmed by the trial He was going through that He said, "if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." At times we want to pray to have our trials taken away from us, but if we do that, we will be missing out on blessings and growth that we will need. In fact, we may be taking a step back if we do not allow the Lord to give us opportunities we need. So, the take home message to that thought: Keep going!
Elder Maxwell also said that, "the cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day also be the receptacle of joy, how infinitely greater Jesus’ capacity for joy, when he said, after his resurrection, 'Behold, my joy is full.' How very, very full, indeed, his joy must have been!" The take home message to this thought: Keep going! You will be happy!
My final thoughts. Today the Lord blessed me with direct answers to my prayers. Twice. Both of which were answered through other people. Take home message for today and the past two weeks: The Lord is very aware of all his children. He loves us all! He is constantly putting people in our path to help us get through our struggles. He put me in the path of my friends so I could be an instrument in His hands. He put others in my path when I needed them. He knows.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Faith, Prayers, and Direction
For the last few weeks, I have felt strong direction to move to Seattle. It's been interesting because I don't like moving. At all. The Lord has been blessing me with added inspiration and direction, so that has been a huge blessing. I just went visiting teaching and found out that one of my sisters is going through a similar experience. The lesson this month was anything from the Ensign, topics being temples. The only thing that kept coming to mind was the same scripture that stood out to me when I was preparing. D&C 88:119: "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God."
One of the reasons why I have felt so much direction lately is because I have made a conscientious effort to make sure my scripture study is rich, just as Elder Eyring said (see previous entry, "Mormon.org"). I shared with her my experience and even recommitted myself to keep it up because I still need to have that direction.
I have also had a reaffirmation in faith in prayers lately. This is really simple, but it is so profound to me. A few weeks ago, I volunteered to sing a musical number in our division staff meeting at work. Starting last Saturday, I woke up every morning with a hoarse voice because of allergies. My roommates and I pray (nearly) every night and we ask what each other needs so that we can have specific prayers. I told Shannon that I wanted to be able to keep my commitment. She in her faith said, "You will." She prayed a very specific prayer that my voice would be better and that I would be able to hit all the notes. Because of her sure faith, I too knew that I would be able to sing. The next morning I woke up and my voice was perfectly fine. First time in days. I sang all the notes well. It was an amazing miracle. I have thought a lot about it in the last few days because it was a testament to me that the Lord will answer our prayers if we are specific. He loves us and wants us to be happy.
One of the reasons why I have felt so much direction lately is because I have made a conscientious effort to make sure my scripture study is rich, just as Elder Eyring said (see previous entry, "Mormon.org"). I shared with her my experience and even recommitted myself to keep it up because I still need to have that direction.
I have also had a reaffirmation in faith in prayers lately. This is really simple, but it is so profound to me. A few weeks ago, I volunteered to sing a musical number in our division staff meeting at work. Starting last Saturday, I woke up every morning with a hoarse voice because of allergies. My roommates and I pray (nearly) every night and we ask what each other needs so that we can have specific prayers. I told Shannon that I wanted to be able to keep my commitment. She in her faith said, "You will." She prayed a very specific prayer that my voice would be better and that I would be able to hit all the notes. Because of her sure faith, I too knew that I would be able to sing. The next morning I woke up and my voice was perfectly fine. First time in days. I sang all the notes well. It was an amazing miracle. I have thought a lot about it in the last few days because it was a testament to me that the Lord will answer our prayers if we are specific. He loves us and wants us to be happy.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Blog Make-over
Since Saturday I have given this blog business a lot of thought. I have friends who use their blogs to vent frustrations, spew random thoughts they are having, or giving updates on their life and family. I used my blog kind of as a journaling technique and to give updates on my life to close friends (hence the closed blog). When I created my profile on Mormon.org on Saturday, I decided that I want to go in a different direction with these blog posts. I don't post very often as it is, so I will probably continue with that trend, but I decided that I want them to be more rich. I want my blog to be more of a spiritual resource and a way to share my feelings about the gospel and the blessings I have as a result of it; to share experiences I am having in life and what I am learning from them so they can possibly help others who may be going through the same thing. I don't read anyone else's blogs much (sorry friends!), but I know others do, so maybe what I have to say will be beneficial to someone someday. Therefore, I am braving the world of open-bloggedness (not a word, I get that, but it works...). Brace yourselves....
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Mormon.org
I just created a profile at Mormon.org. It got me thinking of the many blessings I have. I am so blessed to have a testimony of the gospel. I am so blessed to know the Lord has a plan for me. There are so many people out there who don't have that perspective. I have so many good influences around me.
My parents instilled in me a life of living the gospel: going to church, reading the scriptures, praying to the Lord, etc. In addition to my parents, I have had many friends who helped shape my commitment to the gospel.
Sarah has taught me to always be active and to love people. Every time I am around her, I feel loved. It reminds me to share the love I feel for others when I am with them.
My friend, Veronica (Ved) taught me to always seek to live my life so that I am an instrument in the Lord's hands, to seek to help others and say things that may benefit others. She also taught me to have faith in my prayers. She is always so good at praying for things and having the faith that it will happen.
My prayers have also improved recently with my roommate Shannon. She is so amazing at her prayers. She is always asking me what she can pray for and I KNOW she prays for others all the time. I can definitely improve in that respect. Shannon also taught me how prayers can be very personal with the Lord. She actually has conversations with the Lord. My prayers are usually the typical "Thank thee, bless me, etc." but she actually discusses things with the Lord. That is how it should be. God is our Father! I am working on improving this relationship so that I can have conversations. Already I have noticed a difference in how I receive answers from the Lord.
David is my home teacher and friend. He is constantly posting conference and devotional talks on his facebook page. I know he listens to them on a regular basis. Because of his example, I started listening to and have found that my life is a lot richer because of it. In addition, I found that listening on a regular basis has exercised my spirit so that I can retain more spiritual light. During conference I wasn't tired at the end of Sunday session like I normally am. I know it is because I prepared and that my spirit was in shape to receive.
My dear friend, Mark is an amazing guy who came into my life recently. He is so committed to the gospel and makes it such a part of his every-day conversation that it inspires me to do the same. He is constantly having missionaries over to teach non- and new- members the gospel. He has such a great faith and trust in the Lord and His guidance, that it makes me want to seek the Lord's guidance more often. I know people will argue that we have our agency and don't need to go to the Lord as often, but Mark reminded me that He will guide us in everything. In fact, I learned that as I have been seeking Him more often, my will is more in line with His will. Mark is a lawyer and is constantly learning new things. He has such a love for the scriptures and his enthusiasm has helped me have a greater zeal in my own scripture study. Elder Eyring in conference said that "when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit" and you get different results if you were to read or study. Mark is good at studying and makes me want to study better. He has been such a positive influence on my life lately.
I am so blessed to know such incredible people. It is another testament to me that the Lord loves me and is very aware of me.
There you go. My ponderous thoughts.
My parents instilled in me a life of living the gospel: going to church, reading the scriptures, praying to the Lord, etc. In addition to my parents, I have had many friends who helped shape my commitment to the gospel.
Sarah has taught me to always be active and to love people. Every time I am around her, I feel loved. It reminds me to share the love I feel for others when I am with them.
My friend, Veronica (Ved) taught me to always seek to live my life so that I am an instrument in the Lord's hands, to seek to help others and say things that may benefit others. She also taught me to have faith in my prayers. She is always so good at praying for things and having the faith that it will happen.
My prayers have also improved recently with my roommate Shannon. She is so amazing at her prayers. She is always asking me what she can pray for and I KNOW she prays for others all the time. I can definitely improve in that respect. Shannon also taught me how prayers can be very personal with the Lord. She actually has conversations with the Lord. My prayers are usually the typical "Thank thee, bless me, etc." but she actually discusses things with the Lord. That is how it should be. God is our Father! I am working on improving this relationship so that I can have conversations. Already I have noticed a difference in how I receive answers from the Lord.
David is my home teacher and friend. He is constantly posting conference and devotional talks on his facebook page. I know he listens to them on a regular basis. Because of his example, I started listening to and have found that my life is a lot richer because of it. In addition, I found that listening on a regular basis has exercised my spirit so that I can retain more spiritual light. During conference I wasn't tired at the end of Sunday session like I normally am. I know it is because I prepared and that my spirit was in shape to receive.
My dear friend, Mark is an amazing guy who came into my life recently. He is so committed to the gospel and makes it such a part of his every-day conversation that it inspires me to do the same. He is constantly having missionaries over to teach non- and new- members the gospel. He has such a great faith and trust in the Lord and His guidance, that it makes me want to seek the Lord's guidance more often. I know people will argue that we have our agency and don't need to go to the Lord as often, but Mark reminded me that He will guide us in everything. In fact, I learned that as I have been seeking Him more often, my will is more in line with His will. Mark is a lawyer and is constantly learning new things. He has such a love for the scriptures and his enthusiasm has helped me have a greater zeal in my own scripture study. Elder Eyring in conference said that "when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit" and you get different results if you were to read or study. Mark is good at studying and makes me want to study better. He has been such a positive influence on my life lately.
I am so blessed to know such incredible people. It is another testament to me that the Lord loves me and is very aware of me.
There you go. My ponderous thoughts.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Draaaaamaa
Funny thing, drama. I have had too much of it lately. The best part, none of it is mine! I have just been internalizing the drama of all my dear friends. It makes me laugh now. Sunday was not good. I was really overwhelmed and heavy with concern and love that my friends would make wise choices. Then my good friend got her heart broken and I was braced for major drama there, but surprisingly, it's not been bad at all, I'm very proud of her. I have been praying a lot and exercising every day to let out the stress I've been holding in. On Monday I came home from my run all jazzed up and even said I was ready for more drama. Heavenly Father in his infinite sense of humor saw to that. My best friend had a lot of serious family drama on Tuesday. It was really scary and is still really sensitive, but I'm surprisingly handling it well. Jared helped me with the advice I need. There is nothing I can do but pray, advise, and love. I can't make decisions for them. It's their life. That has been the key the last few days in dealing with it so I'm not hindered by it. It's been a good experience. Today I learned how much I do need to know this skill as the potential for me to become an Admissions/Financial Aid Counselor is becoming more of a possibility. In order to do that though, I need to hone in on this skill. So, the Lord is blessing me with lots of experiences. Today I was talking to a friend and asked how his week was and he told me it was dramatic. I laughed bc I can relate. Then he started telling me how dramatic it was. That's fine, but he said three times in the conversation, "I don't know why I'm telling you all this." It made me laugh. I guess I am a magnet for drama right now. I am taking it as a learning opportunity. :D What'll happen next....
Monday, February 8, 2010
Much needed update
It's been way too long since I've written in. I figure it's time to remedy that. I don't know where to start, so I'll start with a quick recap and then get to the present. I was able to go home for Christmas. It was really nice to be home. Geoff brought his fiancé, Emily, and it was nice meeting her. She's a cute girl. I like her. When I got back, work was insanely busy and stressful because we had so many issues with the Financial Aid system. All the stress caught me off guard and I have had a lot of anxiety the past month, not able to handle with the normal stresses of life. I went to the doctor about it and she put me on Zoloft, which is an anti-depressant, ironically. We'll see how it goes. It's supposed to take 2 weeks to get into my system. So far the side effects include 1) loss of appetite (yeah! Help in my quest to lose weight--which btw, I have lost 20 pounds since last May when I started the journey! YEAH!); 2) dry mouth, which makes me drink more water, which makes me go to the bathroom more, resulting in more breaks at work, helping me to focus better! 3) sleepiness (at least I think it is a symptom, if not, I am tired anyway)--I have been going to bed at 9 and 10 every night this week. I must say, it's not entirely that bad. It's getting me on a better sleeping schedule then I've ever been on. All in all, I've felt less stressed. It could be a combination of a lot of things: exercising, eating right, sleeping better, I started listening to relaxation CD's before bed, etc.
Yesterday was an awesome day at church. I was fasting about what I need to do to get married as it has been a hard lately. Well, Relief Society was absolutely amazing! Amber (the RS Pres.) talked about the very topic of being single and having trials. She talked about the Brother of Jared and how he was commanded to build barges. She posed the question, why did the Lord have them build barges with no openings that get tossed around the ocean and not a ship like Nephi? Her point was that the Lord took away their control so they could rely fully on the Lord to take them where He is leading them. It was really powerful for me. I don't know where the Lord is leading me or when I'm going to marry or to who, but I know He is aware of me. Amber's parents spoke to us as well. Her mom said something to help me see a positive aspect of being single. She mentioned that since Amber is single, it gives her mom more time to be with Amber. I realized that I go to my parents a lot when I am having issues. Who knows how often that will happen when I get married and actually DO have someone else to turn to. I'm glad I can be so close to them. Amber's dad also spoke to us. He is a patriarch. He talked about how we are all choice daughters of Zion, which is something my patriarchal blessing said. It was a nice tender mercy to realize the Lord's love for me and awareness of my situation. Everyone in the room needed to hear it. Everyone was sniffling because of tears. It was kind of funny, but really amazing that we all needed it so much.
It's my birthday today, and I've been celebrating all weekend. Friday night I went to Turcanos with Josh . His birthday is on Feb 10th, so we celebrated together. On Saturday I went to lunch with Erin, Jenny, and Ved. Yesterday I had a party with cake and ice cream for my friends and ward members. A lot of people came. It was nice. Dave was a friend from Alta who I haven't really talked to much before. He's friends with Erin, Jenny, Sarah, etc. but I haven't had many conversations with him. He came last night to my party and it was fun getting to know him a little. Turns out we have a lot in common. I wanted to see a movie today for my birthday (Aunt Teresa gave me a gift certificate for Christmas a year ago and I wanted to use it), so I asked if Sarah and Dave wanted to go. Sarah didn't, but Dave wanted to. So, we went to see "The Blind Side" today. It is a REALLY good movie! I totally cried. Dave was cute about it. He kept asking if I was okay. He doesn't have much of a bubble either, I have noticed. When he would talk to me, he would speak pretty closely. It was kind of cute. I don't know if he's nice or if he has interest, but I hope he has interest. I sure do. When we were leaving the theater, he followed me to my side (I was driving) and after I unlocked the door, he opened it for me! Huge points! We'll see if he calls me to do something, but I've learned to not hold my breath, only hope. Tonight we’re going ice skating for FHE. I’m looking forward to that. It will be fun. :)
Yesterday was an awesome day at church. I was fasting about what I need to do to get married as it has been a hard lately. Well, Relief Society was absolutely amazing! Amber (the RS Pres.) talked about the very topic of being single and having trials. She talked about the Brother of Jared and how he was commanded to build barges. She posed the question, why did the Lord have them build barges with no openings that get tossed around the ocean and not a ship like Nephi? Her point was that the Lord took away their control so they could rely fully on the Lord to take them where He is leading them. It was really powerful for me. I don't know where the Lord is leading me or when I'm going to marry or to who, but I know He is aware of me. Amber's parents spoke to us as well. Her mom said something to help me see a positive aspect of being single. She mentioned that since Amber is single, it gives her mom more time to be with Amber. I realized that I go to my parents a lot when I am having issues. Who knows how often that will happen when I get married and actually DO have someone else to turn to. I'm glad I can be so close to them. Amber's dad also spoke to us. He is a patriarch. He talked about how we are all choice daughters of Zion, which is something my patriarchal blessing said. It was a nice tender mercy to realize the Lord's love for me and awareness of my situation. Everyone in the room needed to hear it. Everyone was sniffling because of tears. It was kind of funny, but really amazing that we all needed it so much.
It's my birthday today, and I've been celebrating all weekend. Friday night I went to Turcanos with Josh . His birthday is on Feb 10th, so we celebrated together. On Saturday I went to lunch with Erin, Jenny, and Ved. Yesterday I had a party with cake and ice cream for my friends and ward members. A lot of people came. It was nice. Dave was a friend from Alta who I haven't really talked to much before. He's friends with Erin, Jenny, Sarah, etc. but I haven't had many conversations with him. He came last night to my party and it was fun getting to know him a little. Turns out we have a lot in common. I wanted to see a movie today for my birthday (Aunt Teresa gave me a gift certificate for Christmas a year ago and I wanted to use it), so I asked if Sarah and Dave wanted to go. Sarah didn't, but Dave wanted to. So, we went to see "The Blind Side" today. It is a REALLY good movie! I totally cried. Dave was cute about it. He kept asking if I was okay. He doesn't have much of a bubble either, I have noticed. When he would talk to me, he would speak pretty closely. It was kind of cute. I don't know if he's nice or if he has interest, but I hope he has interest. I sure do. When we were leaving the theater, he followed me to my side (I was driving) and after I unlocked the door, he opened it for me! Huge points! We'll see if he calls me to do something, but I've learned to not hold my breath, only hope. Tonight we’re going ice skating for FHE. I’m looking forward to that. It will be fun. :)
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