Giving Thanks

In church the talks were about gratitude, which is what I needed to hear, honestly. One of the girls talked about how she didn’t have a car when she came to college and she needed to ask for rides everywhere, etc. (I totally know how that is!) Her parents found a car for her for $200 and it was a junker (windshield wipers never stopped going, rain or shine, doors sometimes wouldn’t open, can’t lock it or you couldn’t unlock it, etc). She was really grateful for it, though, because she didn’t have anything before. Well, that’s how I got my car (only $100, never had one, etc). I was so grateful for it and then this year I put about $1,700 into it to keep it up. It’s been so frustrating because I just want to buy a new car! However, I realized today that I should really be grateful that I DO have such a good car, as old as it is, but it runs really well. I just got new tires and it’s all ready to go home for Christmas, weather pending. I’m so grateful that I have a car that I can go home for Christmas now! I don’t have to depend on whether or not someone else is going, as I am having a hard time finding someone to go with as it is. I’m grateful that I have a job that I can afford all these car fees. I am grateful for the friends I have that love me no matter what. I’m grateful that I have been blessed with such a happy personality that it takes a lot to get me down. I’m grateful that I have such a big heart and love for others and the ability to help others feel the Lord’s love through my love. I’m grateful that I am not high maintenance (I don’t need to constantly go on vacations to find fulfillment in life, I get that just by relaxing, watching a movie, reading a book, being with people, babysitting, etc).

I love that I can babysit for Julie, my coworker, as I know it helps her and Matt be able to go to the temple, but it also fulfills my baby need. Maddie is soo adorable!! She’s crawling now! So cute!! I am just so blessed.

New Pics!

My cousin, Alicia, did my hair a week ago and it’s adorable! She put red in it and it’s cute! Erica and I went up the canyon to take pictures and I must say, I look hot! ;)

Busy...again...

Yesterday was such an interesting day. I got up and went babysitting for Becky. I was so tired because I only had 5 hours of sleep (went to bed at 4 AM!). Babysitting was good (kids are so adorable!). When I got home I had about a hour to get some laundry done and clean the house (the kitchen was nasty and was driving me nuts!). Jenny came to pick Erin and I up for the football game. Let me just say....it was one of the worst games for us. Ugh! We played Florida State University and they creamed us! 54-28 :( It was such an upsetting game! We were in the sun for the first half and it totally zapped the remaining energy. I would have been better if it wasn't for the lack of adrenaline a good game would have provided. In addition to all of this, I sent a few texts to Kevin yesterday. He responded to the first few, but not the last few. All of these forces combined totally put me in a slump. I was so out of it. I wanted to go home and sleep, but I had to wait for traffic to thin out and for Jenny to be ready to take me home. I slept briefly on their couch and then just laid there so out of it. I felt really hopeless about Kevin too, silly, I know, as we've only been friends for about a week. I think it was all magnified by the fact that I was tired and moody.

This morning was much better! Church was amazing! I love it when all the meetings share themes! It was awesome. I really felt the spirit. The rest of the day was busy. I was home taught, visit taught one of my girls, went on a really nice walk with a girl in the ward, ward choir, took a brief nap, and went to ward prayer. It was a really nice day.

Britt's a Busy Bee

For those who are reading, this will probably be a boring entry for you. It's going to be more of a journal entry (the main purpose of why I have a blog) of how I am so busy. You'd think with myself running my own schedule, I'd be able to cut things out and not be so busy, but let's face it, it's better than being bored or lazy! :)

Monday: I started a project at work and was working on it until Shandy called me to ask if I was going to FHE and I said yes, then looked at the clock and it was 7:20! It was crazy! I'm excited about the project. It's a powerpoint that is like a little commercial for SAC Award nominations (office members nominate coworkers who make their work load lighter). FHE was fun. I am glad I have become active again. :)

Tuesday: I hung out with the old 215 gang. It was good times. It's Amber's bridal shower on Saturday and they all dubbed me as the purchaser of the lingerie. I think it's pretty funny. Also on this day, everyone found out that Sarah was dating Gabe again and Sarah looked at me and said, you didn't email everyone telling them? Apparently I'm the gossiper in the group who keeps everyone informed. haha I'm not offended because I think it's pretty true.

Wednesday: I took Jeff to the airport on my way to a bridal shower for a mission buddy--Sara Robertson. It was quite fun, but I left feeling a little sad. She's marrying a non-member. It made me sad for her. She has her agency, though.

Thursday: Busy day! I was a line marshal for BYU's Graduation again, which means I was in charge of keeping college graduates in a single file line...harder than you would think, trust me. There were an insane number of graduates too! Way more than expected. So, where I normally have a seat reserved for me, I didn't anymore because the faculty sat there. So, I sat on the floor where the media sits. :) President Uchtdorf received an honorary Doctorate degree. He was so cute. I met his wife in the bathroom before the convocation started--and when I say I met her, I mean she was in line with me and I recognized the accent, I never talked to her. Elder Nelson was the keynote speaker. He had some great things to say. I really enjoyed what I heard. He talked about how our jobs are not what defines us, but who we become at the end of our lives, what Christlike attributes we acquire, etc. I had to leave halfway through his talk to go work in the temple. I didn't get to hear Pres. Uchtdorf speak either. Sad day. :( Oh well. Ciest la vie.

Friday: I got off work at 12:30 because I worked graduation (all of campus gets off at 2:30 with comp time, so I got to use my comp time on another day--and because I worked extra on Monday, I got to leave earlier on Friday). I went to visit Julie (coworker) and her baby Madeleine (so adorable!). I was there for a few hours and it was fun. I left to go visiting teaching. Then I went to hang out with Elisa! It was so nice!! I so miss her. We haven't been able to play much this semester (or past year really) because she's been finishing up with school. We just talked a bit then watched Pirates at her house with other ward members. It was fun and really nice to just relax. It was annoying though because I sat by cute boys and really wanted to cuddle. Not because of the boys, but I just wanted some lovin'. One of these days...

Saturday: Holy crazy day! Vanessa got married in Salt Lake. Shandy and I drove up in the morning, waited for about an hour before we could go in for the sealing, then went outside in the pouring rain to wait for them to come out for pictures. One of the bridesmaids brought her baby and dumped him on Vanessa's brother and sister while she went in the temple without really asking. Then she took forever to come out! He was crying a lot and I took him from the siblings so they could have a break. I didn't mind holding him, but I was annoyed that his mother didn't seem to care a bit or hurry to get him. Once group pictures were taken, Shandy and I went to her friend, Carrie's house for some R&R. We went to the dinner at 6. It was a really nice dinner. I didn't know how to act. They had hor d'ourves and everything! Crazy! Good food though1 They had dancing and I really and truly hope I marry someone who either dances or is willing to learn because it's so heart wrenching to be around dancing and not able to particulate because of no partner. Guh!

Our new roommate moved in as well. Her name is Holly and she's super cute. I think she'll fit in very well. :)

Today (Sunday): Good day. I have been really focusing on developing Christlike attributes I haven't acquired yet (like patience), and have felt like I haven't been up to snuff with doing what the Lord wants of me. I was reminded today (from a guy in Sunday School quoting "Evan (or Bruce?) Almighty") that "if I ask for patience God's not going to give me patience, but opportunities to learn patience," and that's what he's been doing lately. That's why I've been struggling so much with being single lately. Hopefully I learn this trait soon. It was a good day. When I got home I started putting the Vanessa's kitchen stuff in boxes so Holly could unpack her stuff. It probably wasn't the most Sabbath appropriate activity, but I realized that cleaning and organizing is relaxing for me, so I justified that it was okay. Our newly appointed home teacher of last month ended up moving and so we are home teacher-less this month. This is really unfortunate because I have been contemplating getting a blessing lately. I talked to Nate (Elder's Quorum President) and he said that they will have to reassign a lot of them next month anyway, so he's going to just come home teach us this week. I'm totally fine with this. :D

That was my week! :) This upcoming week is going to be super busy. Some days have 3 obligations in a row! Plus Enrichment on Tuesday which I'm not entirely sure on the location! It's going to be a long week. Oi. Gird up your loins!

I hate being a pirate!

My roommate, Shandy, uses the word "pirate" to describe being an adult and what comes with being an adult. Today it is very fitting for me.

Last Thursday I was feeling really sick at work and went to go home early and my car didn't start! I ended up having to get it towed to my mechanic (aka my wonderful coworker, her husband's truck and a chain). They said the wires in the starter needed to be tightened or something. It worked really well until last night when I didn't start again. :( So, I had to get it towed (real tow truck this time) to my mechanic and get a new started. It ended up costing me a grand total of $300! Ouch. This hurt me in other ways too. I am super homesick right now and want to go home, so I was planning on purchasing my tickets on Monday, but I just spend all the money I would on the tickets! So, I don't know what to do now. To make matters worse, I know it would have only cost $30 and a hug if I were home and my dad would have fixed it. Guh I hate being a pirate!

On a positive note, I have noticed some tender mercies through this whole ordeal. This week has been a really tough one for me emotionally. Normally I totally okay being single, etc. but this just wasn't one of those weeks. I felt lonely all week and have had a hard time feeling peace. Today I realized that the Lord is showing me His love through this frustrating experience. First, my car died last night and not this morning so I could plan my day better. I had practice for our Women at the Well fireside we're putting on tomorrow. Afterward I was going to go babysit for a coworker. Then right after that, go to a movie premier with and for some friends of mine. Needless to say, busy day! So, I was able to go to some of my practice this morning and then left early with a friend (she needed to go anyway so it was perfect), so I could meet the tow-truck guy. My car was fixed by about 1 and I was able to go babysitting. Second tender mercy was that it happened on a Saturday, even though busy, in which I could adjust my plans, and not a week day where I would be super stressed because I would need to be at work. The only thing I need to figure out now is what to do with the plane tickets. Is the Lord telling me I shouldn't go home or is this a trial to see how badly I want to go home and what I'm willing to sacrifice for it?

I hate being a pirate, but I'm glad the Lord is willing to help me through the process.

I have decided that I love being a girl, but it drives me insane how my brain and hormones work. Oi..

[warning, this is a long one!]

Alright, so I emailed Lane after our first date with some questions I had that didn't get answered. I knew it would take him a few days to respond because it usually does, but even though my brain was thinking, my heart and hormones weren't. I spent all weekend telling myself to calm down and be patient. How obnoxious! Conference was super great though. I so needed it. The Brethren, as always, were right on queue, as always. I got what I needed from it. Trust in the Lord's timing, learn how do make and KEEP a budget (still working on this one...eesh), and that the Brethren are called of God. I love conference! I was able to go to the Sunday morning broadcast and that was so marvelous!! I love Motab!! It made me totally homesick for my mission. I was so blessed to have served there.

Okay, back to the boy update...so, Lane finally wrote me back on Monday. He didn't say anything about meeting up again, but that was okay. I was just happy that he wasn't scared away because I wrote him first, blah, blah, blah--I hate the "games" and "rules" in dating. Adds so much pressure. So, I just wrote him back and didn't hear from him again until Wednesday. He said that he was planning on going to Capitol Reef this weekend, but may have to cancel because of the weather. So, he wanted to know if I wanted to do something. I told him that I had plans Friday (I went to a play with a friend--it was super weird!), but Saturday I was available. I didn't hear from him until Friday at 4pm. I, of course was starting to worry that he maybe changed his mind. My friends were telling me that I should make plans because it was rude of him to not tell me in advance, but it all boiled down to the fact that 1) I really wanted to see him, 2) He didn't tell me originally that it was set because he still wanted to go to Capitol Reef, and 3) It would have been a game really--making something up that wasn't real. That's now how I roll. If I ever end up dating him and he still doesn't let me know in some kind of advance for some things, I'll definitely let him know, but it's kind of early in the game for that. Now that I look back on it, it's really not that big of a deal and it wasn't that much time, but holy cow I was hormonal!

Anyway, we ended up hanging out yesterday (Saturday) and went to Costa Vida and bowling. It was good. It was a little frustrating to me because I wanted to get to know him, but I was drawing a total blank on question I wanted to ask and things I actually wanted to know about him. I hope it wasn't annoying for him. I did find out some things from him though. I knew it before, but it was fun hearing him talk about the kinds of things he does outdoors like hiking, snowshoeing, ice fishing, etc. I'm both excited to learn and nervous that this could be a deal breaker since I probably won't want to do these things as often as he does, but who knows, maybe he'll convince me. I like doing things, I'm just not a good planner. So, we'll see.

Analysis: I'm very much interested in him. I feel like I just want to spend more time with him. I had fun bowling with him. I was so horrible. He was pretty good. We had fun though. He was a nice coach for me. It was cute. haha. At the end of the date he told me we should do something again and I said to call me. So, it ended well, right?

Well, for some reason after he left, I felt really depressed, and we're talking real depression! It was weird. I think it had to do with the fact that it was dark and gloomy outside and I slept for 4 hours and still felt really off and depressed. I woke up and felt that I really needed to go to the temple. I wanted to do initiatories because I really needed to be reminded of the blessings within. It was really good. I felt the Lord's love, especially through random people. It was really awesome. Afterward, I went to my old ward's closing social. I'm really glad I went because it stopped me from thinking and analyzing. It was good to see my old friends and bishopric. I even made it in the slideshow from when I went to the Draper Temple Open House! How funny is that! We played volleyball afterward and I got happy.

This morning when I woke up (Easter morning btw)I still felt off. It was beautiful and sunny outside. I went to our Women at the Well practice (we're singing this this coming Sunday if anyone wants to come! that is, anyone that is reading this humongo blog entry...). Of course I was thinking of the Savior all morning and trying to get past this dark feeling knowing there were so many things to be grateful for and that the Lord was showing me His love by the day, birds, purple blossoms, etc. One of the sisters gave a spiritual thought about the Savior that really touched me. I said the opening prayer and got emotional thinking of the Savior and His sacrifice and how it is for us. The songs were really touching too (of course) and I left feeling a little better, but still off. I prayed really hard when I came home and the spirit prompted me to realize that this is a trial I was going through (duh!). I then changed my train of thought from "Why can't I shake this?!" to "What can I learn from this?" and it was so much better. Sacrament meeting and Sunday School gave me some reflection time, but it wasn't until Relief Society where I really started feeling a change in my emotions.

We were learning about how we could be "Valient in the Cause of Christ." The Spirit was teaching me random things right and left. For the last few months, probably 6 months or so, I have really wondered if I would be able to lay down my life for the Church if need be. I keep hoping I would, but never knew how I would know that. Joseph Smith taught that "The Lord [gives] us power in proportion to the work to be done, and strength according to the race set before us, and grace and help as our needs [require]." Wow! That struck me like a ton of bricks! I learned so much from this. First, if I am ever in a position where the Lord WILL require me to lay down my life, my testimony is strong enough (obviously still growing), that the Lord will give me the strength necessary for me to act in that proportion. The second thing I learned is that I do have great qualities and the Lord is proud of me. I think I really needed to feel that. It's so easy to get down on myself and feel I'm "not good enough" when a guy is either not interested or taking his dear sweet time to get interested (haha). I felt so much better after church! To top it off, Lane had responded to my text. I asked him how his play was last night. Honestly, I know I should probably let him make these moves, but...ugh...I hate that! I just want to know! This is probably why I'm not married yet huh? Whatev.

In other news...I really needed my family fix today. I called my family and talked to them a bit. I love them so much! Dad was just called to be the High Priest Group Leader AND the Elder's Quorum President! Gotta love those branches. The branch needs to be whipped back into shape Preisthoodly speaking and I think he is the right man for the job. I'm so blessed to have him as an example and father.

I called Becky after church and she invited me over for dinner. It was so good to be there. Food was much better than what I would have made (maybe a sandwich or even cereal haha), and her kids are so darn cute! Caden is getting so big! It's amazing how fast they grow! He's 1 month today and is so sweet! I love these kids! They all got parachute things that were attached to a rubber bunny to weigh them down and you throw it up in the air...anyway, it was quite entertaining. Especially since they kept getting them caught in the tree. haha They were so preoccupied with the parachutes that they didn't need an Easter egg hunt, which I was a little sad about because that's hilarious to watch little kids go bonkers over hard boiled eggs. Alas, not in this Easter's cards. It was good talking to Becky too. I just held Caden and we chatted while the kids played with Andrew. It's been a while since we've actually sat down to talk.

I went to Jana's and watched the Testaments with them. It was funny watching them discipline dogs, too. They have two weenier dogs (Lady and Tramp) and they were watching Jenny's dog (CJ--bigger then them). Tramp was sitting on the couch on my Mike's lap next to me while CJ was in front of me. Tramp totally lunged for CJ! I was slightly frightened for my legs. It was crazy! So, Mike put Tramp in "his room" and then like 10 minutes later CJ started eating the frozen cookies Mike set on the counter to cook. That was hilarious! Mike put CJ outside. It was very entertaining. I will never have dogs, but holy cow that was entertaining.

So, moral of today's entry: the Lord loves us, answers prayers always (even if it is in HIS time and not mine), family is great, and everything works out.

Count Your Many Blessings

Two posts in one day, I know, but I just wanted to add this one. Becky's newest baby, Caden, was blessed today and it was such a blessing to be there. He is so adorable! All of her kids! I feel like their aunt! Self designated maybe? Anyway, I went to the blessing and hung out with the family for a bit before heading off to my own church. It was fast and testimony meeting for me and as I sat there I started feeling a deep sense of gratitude and love for everything in my life. Mom asked me to write down a list of my blessings a while ago and I realized that as I started, I got more and more detailed. I'd say "work" and then felt like I needed to add "coworkers" and "computer talents" and "breaks" and "Friday's." The Lord loves of so much that He has given us soo much that it's impossible to number them! It's definitely worth it to start the list though. So, here is what I thought of today:

My family--both immediate and extended
My car--so I can do things that I want to when I want to, for example: go to Caden's blessing
Beauties of the earth--Specifically today, the sky with the sun rays shining through the clouds and snow on the mountains
Friends that love meMy wardTalents I have been given--today I was grateful specifically for my ability to love people and my talent to not only sing, but appreciate good music
Laughter
My new home teacher who was given his assignment a few weeks ago and has been diligent in visiting all of his "families"--which in our ward is about 10 per guy because the numbers are ridiculously out of balance (100+ girls and less than 40 guys)
My roommates--current and former
The gospel--which includes many facets, but today specifically the atonement and the love for and from God and Jesus Christ

Those are just a few that I wanted to list. It was such an amazing day.

Britt's has a blog? What?!

So, I decided that since I have a computer, and since I have have every intention of writing in my journal, but never do, I decided that I should start a blog! Not only will others have a an update on my life, but I will also have a narrative that will never replace my journal, but at least it will be something of a log into my life. :) So, here it is! Enjoy!